love life

So it goes like this. I'm 17 years old and in love. it felt right saying The words " I love you" and even thought i never truly felt understood i felt comfortable sharing all my secrets with him. In the back of my mind i knew he didn't understand but he tried with all he could and thats all that mattered .It was all good i couldn't ask for more I'm happy im going to school having fun,laughing,dancing,singing,swimming,jumping,running,hugging and oh so much kissing and such. Its all going well till it starts to go bad. I know im asking my self the same thing, "what made it go bad" right? I wish i knew where it started or when it started, I would have ended it then. My life went from being perfectly happy my mom me and him living in one house. To me crying on my moms lap every night because I was not good enough. I though life couldn't get any worse. I felt like every man in my life walked out i truly felt not good enough to be loved. my head was so full of crazy thoughts. I was depressed.This is so hard for me to type i cant really put all the events in the right order. when i think about it i get angry there were so many people who saw me suffer. i can remember going to work crying and not stopping till i got out of work. I was sick and honestly i felt like i had nothing left to do but work i had put my life into one person. i had given him everything i had mentally and physically then one day i had it all taken away stepped on like trash and thrown back into my face. i can remember so clearly him telling me "no one would ever want me again i would only be used and not truly loved". that "no one would want to put up with me". I get such mixed feelings of anger and fucking hatred and disappointed pain and confusion when i replay those words. liek i said its hard for me to explain. but any ways so i had some people at work and some dogggies there(it was a pet store) help me out.After losing god only knows how much weight and not leaving my house for just as long i realized i needed to get over it. why should i let some one who sucks so bad hurt me? why should he be happy and not me? so i started going out more and meeting people. life never gets easier and i can say for sure that no matter how many people i have met i still don't know if any one will ever truly understand me.

heyy

heyy