go away 12

my head ache really needs to go away like reaaaly. I cant think I Cant write Im going to Dye and I Nedd to get shit done. What The Fuck.!!

 Ok i forgot to publish that when i wrote it sweet. my headache is gone thank fucking god for NAPS.

i love old people 11

I got another job working 5-8:30 almost everu night. its a private job taking care of a very elderly woman. its basicly amazing and I love it. I just wish it wasn't at night but for now its what I have to do ill make an extra 175$ a week and that should help me out a lot.

I have had killer fucking head aches the last week and I have one right now it sucks so bad and I want to cut my eyes out.

this is gettin old 10

make it stop. 

I think i have something seriously wrong with me 

my weight and appetite shift weekly 

I either sleep all day and dont wake up or i cant sleep for days at a time.

little things bother me and im tired of being stressed out about stress.

i need help serious help I think this is more than just stress.

9

I was out of my comfort zone
that's all it was
lost and confused
nit having any fun

I wanted him back and thought id feel good
now the words I told you linger on my pillow

this is one of those days I can't get my thoughts out
can't make it clear what I want to say

need

I need money I need a new job

need

I need money I need a new job

time 8

always dreaming
never waking
always thinking
never progressing

relax for a second
lose the time
no going back
can't get back time

thoughts run wild
in this crazy brain
no time to relax

Most Of The Time-

I Love This Boy.

grr 7

Nothing really much has been going on. i have no time to do anything I dont know why, i havnt even writtin on here in forever. All i do is work  but i dont seem to make any money. hmmm? I love my job but i need a new one.

I need a job where i go in and stay there for 5 hours or whatever instead of going house to house wasting gas and time. My job now i leave my house  at like 9 am and dont get out till 5 but i dont get paid for all that time. it sucks and im just going to bitch untill its better.

icky 6

so my dad had hand surgery  friday. 6:30 am. wow so early i told him i would go because he was scared. i had to wait at the hospital for him to get out till 12 then at 12 he got out of the 5 hour surgery and then he had to wake up. i didnt end up leaving till 3 oclock.

NewYork 5

so i went to new york with my dad and steven and my dads friend kim on the 6th

it started out good my dads probation got dropped like an hour before we had planned to leave so we left on time.We got to our hotel and it was all good we went out and saw the city blah blah went out to dinner did all sorts of fun stuff. so sleeping that night is when the problems started my dad was hammerd no surprise but little did i know my dad talks ALLOT in his sleep. i thought he was just awake talking drunk nonsense so i kept yelling at him tellin him to shut the fuck up every 2 seconds not realizing he was asleep and had no idea. Ok so after about 2 hours of sleep  me and steve got up. kim didnt wake up at all the whole time i was flippin out.

so we go do some more exploring of the city, then we have tickets to the lion king on broadway. yea so  pop gets drunk at dinner but we still go to the show.... yea i forgot to mention he has a bad cold and keeps having coughing fits. so of course half way through the show he starts having a coughing fit but is fucking drunk as hell to make it worse. so hes being soo loud coughing and hes mumbling all drunk that he cant stop hes going to die and throw up. the old lady in front of us hears this and is like "dont you think yall should leave?" my dad was like" shut the fuck up mind your own busness old hag" whoaaa like pop chill big mistake she goes and tells security and they are  on there way over when my dad passes out. by the time they get to us hes so alseep they dont believe the old lady and they leave us alone. so im stressing out by this time like freaking out. i was so worried about being embarrassed in front of allll the people there. luckily the show ended it was amazing and we had a good rest of the night. me and steve took a bike taxi home and it was amazing. the rest of the trip was good and yea thats how it ended.

I promise tomorrow i will write my life away. stay tuned

4

So my dad had his court thing to day

He showed up drunk

blew a 2.0 and got kicked out of the building

fucking dick

i dont even know if we are going tomorrow

but i wanna leave the cape so bad

and i already took work off

 he has one more chance tomorrow morning to not blow this

dads are dicks 3

So  my dad has planned this trip to New York city. 

his girlfriend was going to take me him and steven

so me and steve took off work (which is like impossable for us both)

let me remind you THIS TRIP has been planned for 2 MONTHS

we were scheduled to leave friday the 6th

today which is 3 days before we should leave my dad tells me he cant go cuz of his probation

he decides that he should blame his probation on me and refuses to take any credit 

you can guess by the time i get off the phone with my dad im heated he has ruined every birthday

every holiday everyday in my life since i can remember

i told my mom and she has mad connects in our court and said she would talk to his Probation officer

not to help him but for me she knows how bad i wanna go on this trip

All i know is i hope we can end up going

i hope they will let him leave the state and we can enjoy a vacation 

the first vacation i have ever taken with my dad in my whole life.

hes sucha dick.

so tired but so worth it 2

with out work I would die. I Love my work.

I feel so good knowing i helped some one and tomorrow some one else looks forward to seeing me.

1

so judy's ( my saterday client) usual psa( persona care assistant) has cysts on her ovaries and is like dyeing. this means that i get to go and hang out with judy everyday she cant. which is good for me i make 15 bucks an hour there and its not hard work. i just get her dressed put her in my car and we are off to where ever the road brings us. but today i released i cant be there all the time cuz i have work and school. since i need the money this means i will be doing like 8 things at once. tomorrow i have doctors for my back at 930  then school at 11 then work for bayadda 2-5 then drive to judy so 530-9 thats 9 am. to 9pm. fun fun fun. im going to die.